Life & Love

I’ve been single for over 18 months now and for the past 12 of them I’ve been, let's say, effectively trying to get back into a relationship. Ultimately (as the opening sentence gives away) to no prevail!!

It used to not bother me that much TBH, I'm young and I like having fun. But recently it’s started to get to me more, my best friend split with his girlfriend of 18 months and although she and I never saw eye to eye it’s still saddening to see him hurt.

So yer, lately (over the past few weeks) I’ve started to get down about being single, life’s felt abit shit and I’ve wanted someone there too lean on, someone that appreciates having me around.

I guess all I want is what anyone in this world wants, weather they care to admit it or not, and that’s to feel needed! I want to feel like my life truly affects someone else’s around me in a positive way. If I was gone would I truly be missed?

So a few weeks ago when I came across a girl that I genuinely liked straight off, a girl who seemed cute, funny, smart, geeky (She even liked Minecraft FGS) and most of all genuine. I didn’t message her, I stayed clear!! I've been shot down and felt so unwanted so often over these past 18 months that I didn’t have it in me to attempt to make contact with this girl, this girl that I liked, that seemed perfect for me, For the risk of more heart ache!!

BUT!!! Then I thought "fuck it, who cares, life’s about taking chances, it’s about going out on a limb, trying failing and trying again, it’s about falling in and out of love, being head over heels and heartbroken! These are the things that make us who we are, they define our character, they help us grow into adults and they carry us through life one step at a time! These are the things that truly make us human! Sure things can take a turn for the worse at some points and there’ll always be ups and downs along the way, but the juice is always... Always worth the squeeze!”

Inevitably she didn’t reply to my message anyway but at least I tried.

And I know I’d feel worse in myself if I hadn't taken the leap.

McDonalds!!

Apoligies in advanced for the nature of this post, it does slightly differ from my norm


When i go to "maccies" and order a LARGE fries, i expect to recieve a LARGE fries!! NOT a medium sized portion in a bigger fucking box, the extra 50p really isn't worth that little extra cardboard i get handed by the spotty prepubescent arse on the over side of the counter!!!

HAS ANYONE EVER GOTTEN THIS MANY FRIES IN A LARGE FRIES!!!!! I THINK NOT


Rant Over

My Blank Page

This page was blank before i wrote
before these words were written
now it's covered in a poem
will it make you sad or smitten
will these words inspire you for good
will they touch you inside
or scare the day lights out of you
will they make you run and hide
but no matter what these words say
i know one thing that is true
one page of writing can change a lifetime
one sentence can change a person's soul
but no matter how much they change you
always rememeber the blank page,
that sat alone,
on it's shelf,
living out it's last days of darkness,
before these words brought it into the light.

Empty Vastness

This poem is the original draft of filling the void, as you can see it has a more ominous ending!


looking through the empty vastness
pondering over my lost mind
a light that shimmers in the distance
wonders towards me like a ray of hope
building is the feeling of warmth in my body
longing for a passage of joy
and then the light it dims and fades into the darkness
and any trace of happiness
is lost in my soul

From The One I Loved

A poem i wrote late february 2010 when i was a broken man who started to love again


Like desert sands that rest after storms
my mind it longs to droop into slumber
falling is my body and soul, until a sight awakens me
it lifts me up like a crisp autumn breeze lifts the withered leaves of summer
and gives me new life in the open air.

Throughout the hours of it's presence
times of happiness and sorrow are shared
and after reminising and opening myself
i feel better because it's there

Behind me are other sounds
ones of rhythm and rhymes,
but that matters not too me
for there is only one thing on my mind

It keeps my full attention
and removes my worries and fears,
It leaves me feeling reborn
because i live only for this moment


And when the time comes for us to part
i once again droop,
but this time,
i don't fall into slumber, but into bliss,
as i think of the night that just passed
and i am thankful for the time i got to spend
with the girl who helped to lift my soul

Filling The Void

A poem i wrote in February 2010. This is actually an update of a poem i wrote a few days early, might post the original later


looking through the empty vastness
pondering over my lost mind
a light that shimmers in the distance
wonders towards me like a ray of hope
building is the feeling of heat in my body
longing for a passage of joy
it hits my heart and warms my blood
it flows through me with a holy power
releasing sensations of pride throughout me
i feel whole again
a missing void is filled with happiness
and i can rest in peace for all my days