Life & Love

I’ve been single for over 18 months now and for the past 12 of them I’ve been, let's say, effectively trying to get back into a relationship. Ultimately (as the opening sentence gives away) to no prevail!!

It used to not bother me that much TBH, I'm young and I like having fun. But recently it’s started to get to me more, my best friend split with his girlfriend of 18 months and although she and I never saw eye to eye it’s still saddening to see him hurt.

So yer, lately (over the past few weeks) I’ve started to get down about being single, life’s felt abit shit and I’ve wanted someone there too lean on, someone that appreciates having me around.

I guess all I want is what anyone in this world wants, weather they care to admit it or not, and that’s to feel needed! I want to feel like my life truly affects someone else’s around me in a positive way. If I was gone would I truly be missed?

So a few weeks ago when I came across a girl that I genuinely liked straight off, a girl who seemed cute, funny, smart, geeky (She even liked Minecraft FGS) and most of all genuine. I didn’t message her, I stayed clear!! I've been shot down and felt so unwanted so often over these past 18 months that I didn’t have it in me to attempt to make contact with this girl, this girl that I liked, that seemed perfect for me, For the risk of more heart ache!!

BUT!!! Then I thought "fuck it, who cares, life’s about taking chances, it’s about going out on a limb, trying failing and trying again, it’s about falling in and out of love, being head over heels and heartbroken! These are the things that make us who we are, they define our character, they help us grow into adults and they carry us through life one step at a time! These are the things that truly make us human! Sure things can take a turn for the worse at some points and there’ll always be ups and downs along the way, but the juice is always... Always worth the squeeze!”

Inevitably she didn’t reply to my message anyway but at least I tried.

And I know I’d feel worse in myself if I hadn't taken the leap.